《I Am Not There》

Recently, I was so depressed about my daily life.
It was seemed so normal and nothing strange.
“I am fine, am I?” I wonder ask myself.

If one day you notice that you are not good enough to handle everything in difficult situation,
And you don’t have power to solve problem, what would you do?

I may ask… “what do you want?”
And, “what do you want for?”
By the way, “what do you believe?”

People said, you can get more by complaining, crying or yelling,
But, I am a idiot … or it could be said, I am not good at this method.
I just thought, people do not love you enough to change themselves…..by any kinds of shape.
So, I would give up to be sacrificed and keep silence.
Actually, I am not that kind of person who you imagine.
I have self consciousness, still need freedom that do not be dominated by someone, and I also need to feel… the truly heart that someone really needs me, too.

It is so hard, doesn’t it?

It is just totally different between on-line and off-line.
Did you know me or understand me?
Did you know what the meaning of my smiling and silence is?
My dear, did you really know me?

On that silence moment, I am sure about one thing is…
I am NOT there.

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