《沙龍》

從住家巷口仰望11月的天空，淡藍色從六層頂樓加蓋屋簷透著邊光，
於3點午後說是死寂卻也寧靜。

人群來來往往，愛恨之間沒有絕對，台北生活也六年有餘，經過的街道馬路有如攝影鏡頭的重覆曝光，層層疊疊的記憶總是失了焦，難記得住多少細微變化，與我本身可說並無任何密切關聯。

想想人一生要揹多少包袱，才有勇氣繼續往前? 為了兌現承諾、實踐理想....揹負著使命才能讓日子好好安穩地過去，其實最後每個人終究淹沒於平凡，變成戶政事務所登記的一個普通名字。

帝寶住個菲勞，外商公司電腦開機半小時，全球都在天災，人類開始倡導慢活…許多不成比例的、合理不合理的、嚴肅議題變成茶餘飯後的…其實這世界一直不是我認識的世界，我只是相當熟悉，被迫熟稔地朗讀它的抑揚頓挫。

一直都是這樣。所以我鍾意陳奕迅那戲謔人生的趣味，上帝要我們一出生時就哭泣，叛逆的我們硬要苦中作樂，至少死前願望還能對人微笑。難得一見的好歌詞，聽了就中思念的毒，來放縱一下吧。




沙龍
主唱：陳奕迅
作曲：陳奕迅
填詞：黃偉文
編曲：C.Y. Kong．Gary Tong．Davy Chan
監製：C.Y. ．Davy Chan．Eason．Stanley Leung
歌詞
對焦　她的愛　對慢了　愛人會失去可愛
記低　這感慨　世事愛　有沒有將你淹蓋
只一格　經典的偶遇已　不再
儘量框住目前大概
留住　溫度　速度　溫柔和憤怒
凝住　今日　怎樣　好
捉緊　生命濃度　坦白流露　感情和態度
留下　浮光　掠影　飛舞
每張　都罕有
拍下過　記住過　好過擁有　光圈愛漫遊
眼睛等色誘
有人性　鏡頭裡總有豐收
雖則那　即影即有售罄　菲林都已拆走
但是衝動用完　又再有
留住　溫度　速度　溫柔和憤怒
凝住　今日　怎樣　好
捉緊　生命濃度　坦白流露　感情和態度
停下時光　靜止衰老
登高峯一秒　得獎一秒
再破紀錄的一秒
港灣晚霞　山頂破曉
摘下懷念　記住美妙
升職那刻　新婚那朝
成為父母的一秒
要拍照的事　可不少
音樂　話劇　詩詞和舞蹈
揉合　生命　千樣好　攝入相簿
絢爛如電　虛幻如霧　哀愁和仰慕
遊樂人間　活得好　坦白流露
感情和態度
其實　人生并非虛耗
何來塵埃飛舞

The Day Before The Day

The Day Before The Day - Dido

(不負責任翻譯)




Speeches won't be made today, clocks will carry on
今天沒有演講 時間軌道依舊順暢
Flowers won't be left in parks, work will still be done
花瓣不會遺落在公園 工作仍然按時完成
People won't be dressed in clack, babies will be born
人們衣著合宜 仍有新生兒誕生
No flags will fly, the sun will rise,
旗幟不再飄揚 太陽依舊初升
But we know that you are gone
但我們知道 你已不在
You who love to love and believed we can never give enough
你堅信愛是唯一信仰 我們對愛永不滿足
It wakes me every single night, thinking through the day
想起這一天 讓我在每個孤單的夜裡醒來
Did you stop at any time have doubts at any stage
你是否在任何階段曾經猶疑踟躕過
Were you calm or were you numb or happy just to get it done
把事情做完後你是否平靜 感到麻木或是快樂
I've lived my life without regret until today
我此生無悔 直到今天
You who love to love and believed we can never give enough
你堅信愛是唯一信仰 我們對愛永不滿足
I didn't get to say goodbye the day before the day
在這天之前 我並沒有說再見
Was trying to get to work on time, that's why I turned away
之所以轉身離去 只為了完成工作
And missed the most important thing you've ever tried to say
錯過了最重要的事 對你而言從不厭倦去說的話
I've lived my life without regret until today
我此生無悔 直到今天
You who love to love and believed we can never give enough
你堅信愛是唯一信仰 我們對愛永不滿足
And you who hoped that underneath we all felt the same
你希望在我們彼此心底感同身受
That was until the day before the day
直到這天之前

《無境之旅》

Emiliana Torrini -birds



30歲以前的我從未假想過，似乎忙於當下庸碌地生活，一切還來不及思考…..不斷延續過往記憶的零碎片段，向未來出借時間以拼湊過去的情境，
當時日子過得總像大夢初醒，帶點恍惚與一些迷幻，
需要獲得啟示來揭發現實與理想的假面，因為當時我太迫切地需要知道答案。

15歲的我，太想知道爸媽為了什麼彼此爭鬥。
19歲的我，太想知道書裡有什麼真理。
21歲的我，太想知道什麼是愛情。
25歲的我，太想知道老闆為什麼永遠是對的。
而30歲的我，太想知道未來的人生會怎麼樣......


電影『鵬程千萬里』那段詩人阮克賢的詩句
一直教人震撼:

“ 我們來世將不再為人
而是兩隻高飛的雁鴨
炫目的雪地，海洋河川
山嶺與白雲
我們將遠離紅塵人世
彷彿從未降臨 “

如果真有靈魂，我曾在什麼樣的時空棲息過?
人生若是一趟苦旅，我的目的地有著什麼樣的風景…..

《We Are Our Dear God》

過去念了一點哲學相關的書，認為上帝或許存在。
歷經幾年的社會考驗後，漸漸相信上帝根本是我們的想像。

我曾以為人類分成男女老少、萬事萬物二元對立與因果是造物主的巧心安排，
但災難降臨無辜生靈，禍延善良之人究竟有什麼不得了的道理?

風災七天了，每次看新聞每次熱淚盈眶，一定要看，我要親眼目睹他們的痛牢牢刻在心裡，告訴自己從此要更堅強，能施就是福。並向那些救災殉職或受傷的英雄致敬，我們都是自己的上帝，只有我們能自救並救人。

無情風雨下在台灣這個土地上，卻如烈焰灼燒著我們內心，整顆心就快要燒成灰燼了，卻聽見這詞意雖然沮喪但卻撫慰人心的聲音To watch it all burn away
…. everything would be alright, would be alright….

親愛的你們，希望你們都勇敢！To Fight With Everything For Your Beloved.
如果你們的親人或愛人都不在了，要活得好好的，因為你的活著，能撫慰他們消逝的靈魂。
Stand Up! Because We Are Our Dear God.


Death Cab for Cutie: "Grapevine Fires" (OFFICIAL)


When the wind picked up the fire spread
And the grapevines seemed left for dead
And the Northern sky looked like the end of days
The end of days

The wake-up call to a rented room
Sounded like an alarm of impending doom
To warn us it's only a matter of time
Before we all burn

Before we all burn
Before we all burn
Before we all burn

We bought some wine and some paper cups
Near your daughters school when we picked her up
And drove to a cemetery on a hill
On a hill

And we watched the plumes paint the sky gray
But she laughed and danced through the field of graves
And there I knew it would be alright
That everything would be alright

Would be alright
Would be alright
Would be alright

And the news reports on the radio
Said it was getting worse
As the ocean air fanned the flames
But I couldn't think
Of anywhere I would of rather been
To watch it all burn away

To burn away

And the firemen worked in double shifts
With prayers for rain on their lips
And they knew it was only a matter of time

《曾經的熟悉》

My Love



熟悉的感覺，從指尖慢慢爬上了文字，從記憶的裂痕中再度滲透了出來。

最近又想起了那件往事，從綠島的山頭望向無邊的海洋、心頭一點一滴流下眼淚，被世界遺棄的感覺、大約是那樣的痛楚，咬著泛紅不願潰堤閉上的雙眼，腦海裡的旋律播放著這首歌。

那一年，去花蓮之前見了他一面，一個唯一願意接納沒有靈魂居所孤兒的人。後來坐船出海來到太平洋的位置，船上少了某個人的身影，這首歌旋律仍縈繞著海風，心想”就這樣自我放棄好了啊….”，就差那麼一點點。

為何這熟悉的感覺，又來翻攪過去的傷口了? 我拿起揹包衝出家門，來不及擦拭臉上狼狽的淚水，陌生的街口景象一片模糊，對著司機口齒不清地說明自己要去的方向…”又被遺棄了嗎…”是嗎? 我冷笑。總在被遺棄後，率性地謊稱是自己不要這一切，虛偽的憐憫、委屈的成全、因為怕痛所以快刀斬斷一切。

這輩子要為了愛繼續活下去，這個信念難道被動搖了? 擁有的一切，彷彿又會瞬間天崩地裂似的，而且是我親手一一擊碎，那是我拼了命掩飾的致命傷，永遠必須依附在某個影子底下存在的我的影子，一旦剝離我便會立刻化作泡影。

經過了這些年，我還是像個淡薄的影子、自己看不見自己……What I really want? Does somebody really need me? Do I know myself? Where am I……老是在問這些問題，沮喪教人萬分疲憊的我好像…有點…累了………。

看了這些，你有話對我說嗎? 如果有，千萬不要再說些安慰人的話了，那只會更傷人，你懂嗎? 總是令我羨慕的你，永遠不會懂得我的心情，因為你承載的愛，遠遠的、超、越、了、我………






My Love

妳還記得嗎
當時我們還很年幼無知
我常常調皮的讓妳難過
說些無心的話來傷害妳
那時候的我並不知道
我所放棄的是怎樣的愛情
但現在我絕對不會讓妳難過
我會愛惜妳 保護妳
一直以來我只等待妳一人
雖然走了一段好長遠的路
我會繼續等下去 繼續守護著你
妳能接受這樣的我嗎
我要將妳給我的愛加倍還給你

本來以為再也見不到妳
但現在妳已經在我身邊
妳再也不要擔心任何事
我會以更多的笑容面對妳
妳可能還無法瞭解我的心意
妳對我來說是多麼重要的存在
如果沒有你 我是無法瞭解
這種幸福的滋味
我要用我的愛擁抱你
一直以來我只等待妳一人
雖然走了一段好長遠的路
我會繼續等下去 繼續守護著你
妳能接受這樣的我嗎
我要將妳給我的愛加倍還給你
我要挽回我錯過的愛 My love

《The Blue Vine》

Durrett – Vine





《The Blue Vine》

起初，我以為Liz Durrett的聲音被鬼魅附了聲，反覆聽著，發現竟是溫暖的眼淚從黑暗中如熱流慢慢延伸而出的一道光亮。

晚上起風，搖得樹影晃動，時間此刻只是夢境的一種催眠藥劑，稍稍加多了一些劑量便會讓人麻醉。我想大約是自己無眠了，單單不只是一人的房間，依悉仍嗅得昨晚你微笑時候的甜度，我從你身側專注地看著你眼神，因著電腦螢幕而閃動，如夏日湖邊映著粼粼波光的山林倒影，你並未察覺我的失神，還藉機戲謔了我ㄧ番，然後將思緒轉向鍵盤繼續搜尋吸引你的獵物。

也許我終究只懂得荒廢於這些遐想裡，平淡無奇的日常作息像列入影印機的基本設定般，只是選擇的範圍不同、日期的頁面更替罷了。So what are you tracking for?
花了大部分時間與自己好好相處，和自己拗執的脾氣、憤世嫉俗的血液、盤根錯節的矛盾情結不斷地、不斷地溝通，經過了幾場爭執並證明彼此相愛，親愛的，我還是當初你眼中的那個我嗎?

到了夏季不是本該晝長夜短的?而我為何仍嫌黑夜過於冗長?你停留在我身邊的光景，仍填補不了屋內的空曠；複雜的思緒也無法言簡意賅、妥善地表達，像是唱給自己聽的一首即興live music，沒有起點，沒有主旨訴說，唯一的對象除了自己，還有你。只是想好好與你聊聊，最近在想些什麼，哪些事情被淡忘或忽略了，隱藏的心情或許只是冰山的一角……。

It doesn’t matter, whatever. I know what is important that the moments could be memorized.

我想，我只是希望在你眼裡的我，能更特別一點，有你在鍵盤上搜尋不到的字眼好形容解讀的，我想對你說的，愛。

《如果我的內心住著魔鬼》

Marilyn Manson - The High End Of Low



Marilyn Manson，Dream Theater，Eagles
MONO，The Gathering，Evanescence

信頁的白邊，黑框的鐵鏽；寂冷的沉默，狂歡的痛楚….
這一切像親臨加冕罪惡的儀式現場，既條理又優雅。

我差點受封撕裂黑暗的死神使者，慾望著血濺所有萬惡不赦的腐屍，潛讀基督教與撒旦教衝突的教義，如束縛千年的邪魔從天使般絹絲的衣服中蛆爬而出。

如果我的內心住著魔鬼，他必定有著恐懼的外皮、虛弱的靈魂、訴說謊言的雙眼、刺破耳膜的牛角，一個聽命撒旦使喚的奴隸。

所有的虛無，佔滿所有的空氣，只要一深呼吸便會窒息而亡，這是道德感例行性的懲罰，心中無愛無恨被時間給長期監禁，剩下的只有肉體了，卻被迫擁有世俗的感官欣賞這世界的殘破。

Kill them, I hear it.

思緒被絞肉機一下子擠出液狀的的膿瘤，氣味鹹濕、帶著惡臭，我死命將這一團不明物體用力甩開，雙手沾滿令人作噁的黏液，一種過期的乾扁腐朽在悄悄發酵，情緒也跟著糟糕。

這隻魔鬼必定飢餓，尋找一顆空心獵食，從我的軀體裡、沿著血管、滲透進血液，因這惡性循環找到了美味的心臟，一口一口慢慢吞食、細細咀嚼，它的無色無味無臭，對魔鬼來說確實是人間上乘佳餚。

波特萊爾筆下，如撒旦眼中的美術館，裝飾著人性的敗壞、卑賤與絕望，這種想像昇華成每樣藝術品的標題，定義著人生的不堪、無奈與驚懼，這是一個堅強與恐懼不成比例的對立的世界，邪惡正在文藝復興的時代。

如果我的內心住著魔鬼，那麼，這一篇便是它的自白。

《If Then Else》

The Gathering 《If Then Else》
Rollercoaster
雲霄飛車

Outrun the fight 反擊吧
I used to hide 我慣於藏在
in quiet places 一個静匿的角落

I'll rephrase my cry 我將重述眼淚的語言
For I would keep on wondering 因為我一直嚮往
the rest of my life 生命中的長眠

You're all moving too fast 你們都開得太快
My biggest fear is 但我最大的恐懼是
that we'll never ever last 我們永遠不是最後一個

I know, it's not that easy 我知道，這不容易
Let's hit the brakes 緊急煞車吧

Don't take no time 不要浪費時間
Unless there's a crime 除非犯下罪行
to be committed

I guess we lost our faith 我猜我們會失去信心
While we stand and wait 如果一直佇足等待
until nothing ever happen 直到一切風平浪靜

I know, it's not that easy 我知道，這不容易
Let's hit the brakes 緊急煞車吧

《Evanescence》

When the music played, my pain and joy would be dissolved in these memories from my deepest heart……

*My Last Breath

“Holding my last breath, safe inside myself, are all my thoughts of you, sweet raptured light it ends here tonight.”
It’s not only a long story of my youth, but also a short story of my life. I let myself to be left behind. He has said, this song make him to remind me, however, I misunderstand that it was mention about that he loved me, but the truth was not. It ends till I know that he just want me know that he did not love me, but the stubborn me insisted not to believe it.

*Far Away

“I run to you, Call out your name, I see you there, farther away”
I walk alone for two years. These times was separated us for two lines-between hate and love. No matter what all of things I’ve done, or all of scenes I’ve pass by, it happened too soon to be seen. I couldn’t distinguish the joke or the reality where we belong. Did I go too far? Or just you leave me too long?

*Breathe No More

“Between myself and my reflection, I just can't help but to wonder: Which of us do you love?”
I used to listen to this song to heal my sorrow. Bleeding or breath, just both another side, it reflected my losing lifetime. I give up myself, not this world. I could feel this sunshine and nightmare, I could touch the keyboard or someone’s face….but I couldn’t conscious about the existence of mine.


*My Immortal

“You used to captivate me by your resonating light. Now I'm bound by the life you left behind.”
So I try to frozen my pain in this memory, and keep me to be safe to get rid of hurting me by it again. It seems that I fall asleep for a long long time, I can’t remember.

*Bring Me To Life

“Wake me up inside. [Save me] Call my name and save me from the dark.”
Till I find him, he must be my final straw, I think this is destiny. I miss the summer, he asked me, than I murmured. He asked me again, I just dare to look at his eyes, which is so tender and softly that shine lights. It definitely that I will fall in love with him, I just know.

*Tourniquet

“Am I too lost to be saved? Am I too lost?”
It’s totally wrong; he doesn’t the one who can save me from the hell. But he gives me the power to reject the devil inside my head. Could I be saved? I’m not sure because I can’t see the whole version of the dark side. I live in the shadow behind the sunlight for a long time. It’s really cold here…I need sunlight to warm up my heart, actually, he, he is my sunlight.

*Imaginary

“In my field of paper flowers, and candy clouds of lullaby. I lie inside myself for hours. And watch my purple sky fly over me.”
I build up the whole new life with him, in the future, maybe we will going to get married, have a child, move to the south of Taiwan….the castle of our imagination seems so beautiful. We love each other, is it true? The fact is, if we don’t believe, that would break our relationship. However, we keep smile, for a wonderful thing; we keep thinking, for a question that is worth; we keep breath, for the living of life……but do you know, isn’t it our imagination? All of the truth is, Love will keep us alive.

*Missing

“Even though I'm the sacrifice, You won't try for me, not now. Though I'd die to know you love me, I'm all alone. Isn't something missing? Isn't someone missing me?”
Though we human beings finally will die alone as we were born, that’s the reason why you need someone to hold your hand to walk through the dark tunnel of your lifetime. Finally you find someone; fortunately you fit in someone’s heart. If I lost, I would try to find the way to meet you again and again, ‘cause I don’t wanna miss someone who is my be loved anymore, but I just too miss you to miss the real me. Am I lost again?

《Quarter Blue》

“It’s not difficult that pretend you’re happy when you are blue.”
It always appears sadness on your face, and I must used to fit in it. Today, Taipei is blue for the rain falling, and it seems would never stop. There are fog and cloudy of the sky. You can’t change the habit of smoking cigarettes, so that I can’t stop staying up at the midnight.

Why our tears be tasted so sweet? Are just because we getting older, or we getting more blue? We can’t fit in the cruel society and reality ‘cause we have not enough courage to fight it. You lose in this game, not the game is such damn suck.

How I wonder the people around me are full happiness and joyful, but this is just a wish. Actually, I shocked for my friends crying…I can’t help but angry, why the God treat us like that? Why people always broken our hearts, especially our parents? I almost lost my temper, but I still have no resolution to conduct with this trouble, even though I am almost close to 30 years old.

Sometimes, I can’t figure out the reason why we live so hard to be alive, everybody looks so unhappy, they always worry about money, future, health, working situation…etc, and even they solve one problem, they still stuck in another one. It’s a shit, also a terrible circle. We stuck in the chaos by each other.

I listen to the music of Sigur Ros right now, slowly, smoothly and warmly, I be heal for the rhythm; it’s where the destiny would be belong to our deep soul. We are the outsiders and betrayers of the world, the only identify thing is our beating heart; the only one thing could proof our existence is just the breath; the only way to escape from here is forgetting this world……

I’ve saw an eagle was flying, I thought he wasn’t a hero; he just got to fly away this mountain, so he fly high, higher and higher….till you couldn’t see. You might think he would be happy ‘cause his dreams come true, you want to touch the sky like him, so you envy him, so you envy anything…….I as the eagle which is stuck in the sky, I could smell the clean air and see the beautiful scene, but here is cloudy and rainy…I need the light to fly through the dark side; I need the sun to warm my wings to fly away from the story of others.

Don’t be afraid, you can comfort yourself, though the world is so cold, you can keep warm by yourself, you are your lord of salvation.