《The Blue Vine》

Durrett – Vine





《The Blue Vine》

起初，我以為Liz Durrett的聲音被鬼魅附了聲，反覆聽著，發現竟是溫暖的眼淚從黑暗中如熱流慢慢延伸而出的一道光亮。

晚上起風，搖得樹影晃動，時間此刻只是夢境的一種催眠藥劑，稍稍加多了一些劑量便會讓人麻醉。我想大約是自己無眠了，單單不只是一人的房間，依悉仍嗅得昨晚你微笑時候的甜度，我從你身側專注地看著你眼神，因著電腦螢幕而閃動，如夏日湖邊映著粼粼波光的山林倒影，你並未察覺我的失神，還藉機戲謔了我ㄧ番，然後將思緒轉向鍵盤繼續搜尋吸引你的獵物。

也許我終究只懂得荒廢於這些遐想裡，平淡無奇的日常作息像列入影印機的基本設定般，只是選擇的範圍不同、日期的頁面更替罷了。So what are you tracking for?
花了大部分時間與自己好好相處，和自己拗執的脾氣、憤世嫉俗的血液、盤根錯節的矛盾情結不斷地、不斷地溝通，經過了幾場爭執並證明彼此相愛，親愛的，我還是當初你眼中的那個我嗎?

到了夏季不是本該晝長夜短的?而我為何仍嫌黑夜過於冗長?你停留在我身邊的光景，仍填補不了屋內的空曠；複雜的思緒也無法言簡意賅、妥善地表達，像是唱給自己聽的一首即興live music，沒有起點，沒有主旨訴說，唯一的對象除了自己，還有你。只是想好好與你聊聊，最近在想些什麼，哪些事情被淡忘或忽略了，隱藏的心情或許只是冰山的一角……。

It doesn’t matter, whatever. I know what is important that the moments could be memorized.

我想，我只是希望在你眼裡的我，能更特別一點，有你在鍵盤上搜尋不到的字眼好形容解讀的，我想對你說的，愛。

《如果我的內心住著魔鬼》

Marilyn Manson - The High End Of Low



Marilyn Manson，Dream Theater，Eagles
MONO，The Gathering，Evanescence

信頁的白邊，黑框的鐵鏽；寂冷的沉默，狂歡的痛楚….
這一切像親臨加冕罪惡的儀式現場，既條理又優雅。

我差點受封撕裂黑暗的死神使者，慾望著血濺所有萬惡不赦的腐屍，潛讀基督教與撒旦教衝突的教義，如束縛千年的邪魔從天使般絹絲的衣服中蛆爬而出。

如果我的內心住著魔鬼，他必定有著恐懼的外皮、虛弱的靈魂、訴說謊言的雙眼、刺破耳膜的牛角，一個聽命撒旦使喚的奴隸。

所有的虛無，佔滿所有的空氣，只要一深呼吸便會窒息而亡，這是道德感例行性的懲罰，心中無愛無恨被時間給長期監禁，剩下的只有肉體了，卻被迫擁有世俗的感官欣賞這世界的殘破。

Kill them, I hear it.

思緒被絞肉機一下子擠出液狀的的膿瘤，氣味鹹濕、帶著惡臭，我死命將這一團不明物體用力甩開，雙手沾滿令人作噁的黏液，一種過期的乾扁腐朽在悄悄發酵，情緒也跟著糟糕。

這隻魔鬼必定飢餓，尋找一顆空心獵食，從我的軀體裡、沿著血管、滲透進血液，因這惡性循環找到了美味的心臟，一口一口慢慢吞食、細細咀嚼，它的無色無味無臭，對魔鬼來說確實是人間上乘佳餚。

波特萊爾筆下，如撒旦眼中的美術館，裝飾著人性的敗壞、卑賤與絕望，這種想像昇華成每樣藝術品的標題，定義著人生的不堪、無奈與驚懼，這是一個堅強與恐懼不成比例的對立的世界，邪惡正在文藝復興的時代。

如果我的內心住著魔鬼，那麼，這一篇便是它的自白。

《If Then Else》

The Gathering 《If Then Else》
Rollercoaster
雲霄飛車

Outrun the fight 反擊吧
I used to hide 我慣於藏在
in quiet places 一個静匿的角落

I'll rephrase my cry 我將重述眼淚的語言
For I would keep on wondering 因為我一直嚮往
the rest of my life 生命中的長眠

You're all moving too fast 你們都開得太快
My biggest fear is 但我最大的恐懼是
that we'll never ever last 我們永遠不是最後一個

I know, it's not that easy 我知道，這不容易
Let's hit the brakes 緊急煞車吧

Don't take no time 不要浪費時間
Unless there's a crime 除非犯下罪行
to be committed

I guess we lost our faith 我猜我們會失去信心
While we stand and wait 如果一直佇足等待
until nothing ever happen 直到一切風平浪靜

I know, it's not that easy 我知道，這不容易
Let's hit the brakes 緊急煞車吧

《Evanescence》

When the music played, my pain and joy would be dissolved in these memories from my deepest heart……

*My Last Breath

“Holding my last breath, safe inside myself, are all my thoughts of you, sweet raptured light it ends here tonight.”
It’s not only a long story of my youth, but also a short story of my life. I let myself to be left behind. He has said, this song make him to remind me, however, I misunderstand that it was mention about that he loved me, but the truth was not. It ends till I know that he just want me know that he did not love me, but the stubborn me insisted not to believe it.

*Far Away

“I run to you, Call out your name, I see you there, farther away”
I walk alone for two years. These times was separated us for two lines-between hate and love. No matter what all of things I’ve done, or all of scenes I’ve pass by, it happened too soon to be seen. I couldn’t distinguish the joke or the reality where we belong. Did I go too far? Or just you leave me too long?

*Breathe No More

“Between myself and my reflection, I just can't help but to wonder: Which of us do you love?”
I used to listen to this song to heal my sorrow. Bleeding or breath, just both another side, it reflected my losing lifetime. I give up myself, not this world. I could feel this sunshine and nightmare, I could touch the keyboard or someone’s face….but I couldn’t conscious about the existence of mine.


*My Immortal

“You used to captivate me by your resonating light. Now I'm bound by the life you left behind.”
So I try to frozen my pain in this memory, and keep me to be safe to get rid of hurting me by it again. It seems that I fall asleep for a long long time, I can’t remember.

*Bring Me To Life

“Wake me up inside. [Save me] Call my name and save me from the dark.”
Till I find him, he must be my final straw, I think this is destiny. I miss the summer, he asked me, than I murmured. He asked me again, I just dare to look at his eyes, which is so tender and softly that shine lights. It definitely that I will fall in love with him, I just know.

*Tourniquet

“Am I too lost to be saved? Am I too lost?”
It’s totally wrong; he doesn’t the one who can save me from the hell. But he gives me the power to reject the devil inside my head. Could I be saved? I’m not sure because I can’t see the whole version of the dark side. I live in the shadow behind the sunlight for a long time. It’s really cold here…I need sunlight to warm up my heart, actually, he, he is my sunlight.

*Imaginary

“In my field of paper flowers, and candy clouds of lullaby. I lie inside myself for hours. And watch my purple sky fly over me.”
I build up the whole new life with him, in the future, maybe we will going to get married, have a child, move to the south of Taiwan….the castle of our imagination seems so beautiful. We love each other, is it true? The fact is, if we don’t believe, that would break our relationship. However, we keep smile, for a wonderful thing; we keep thinking, for a question that is worth; we keep breath, for the living of life……but do you know, isn’t it our imagination? All of the truth is, Love will keep us alive.

*Missing

“Even though I'm the sacrifice, You won't try for me, not now. Though I'd die to know you love me, I'm all alone. Isn't something missing? Isn't someone missing me?”
Though we human beings finally will die alone as we were born, that’s the reason why you need someone to hold your hand to walk through the dark tunnel of your lifetime. Finally you find someone; fortunately you fit in someone’s heart. If I lost, I would try to find the way to meet you again and again, ‘cause I don’t wanna miss someone who is my be loved anymore, but I just too miss you to miss the real me. Am I lost again?

《Quarter Blue》

“It’s not difficult that pretend you’re happy when you are blue.”
It always appears sadness on your face, and I must used to fit in it. Today, Taipei is blue for the rain falling, and it seems would never stop. There are fog and cloudy of the sky. You can’t change the habit of smoking cigarettes, so that I can’t stop staying up at the midnight.

Why our tears be tasted so sweet? Are just because we getting older, or we getting more blue? We can’t fit in the cruel society and reality ‘cause we have not enough courage to fight it. You lose in this game, not the game is such damn suck.

How I wonder the people around me are full happiness and joyful, but this is just a wish. Actually, I shocked for my friends crying…I can’t help but angry, why the God treat us like that? Why people always broken our hearts, especially our parents? I almost lost my temper, but I still have no resolution to conduct with this trouble, even though I am almost close to 30 years old.

Sometimes, I can’t figure out the reason why we live so hard to be alive, everybody looks so unhappy, they always worry about money, future, health, working situation…etc, and even they solve one problem, they still stuck in another one. It’s a shit, also a terrible circle. We stuck in the chaos by each other.

I listen to the music of Sigur Ros right now, slowly, smoothly and warmly, I be heal for the rhythm; it’s where the destiny would be belong to our deep soul. We are the outsiders and betrayers of the world, the only identify thing is our beating heart; the only one thing could proof our existence is just the breath; the only way to escape from here is forgetting this world……

I’ve saw an eagle was flying, I thought he wasn’t a hero; he just got to fly away this mountain, so he fly high, higher and higher….till you couldn’t see. You might think he would be happy ‘cause his dreams come true, you want to touch the sky like him, so you envy him, so you envy anything…….I as the eagle which is stuck in the sky, I could smell the clean air and see the beautiful scene, but here is cloudy and rainy…I need the light to fly through the dark side; I need the sun to warm my wings to fly away from the story of others.

Don’t be afraid, you can comfort yourself, though the world is so cold, you can keep warm by yourself, you are your lord of salvation.

'Heima'

">#8 A.K.A. Popplagio


‘Take it all in, let it all out.’
Maybe this is what he sings. it could be mention about love, life and our feelings.

I can’t tell, or describe that how it happens while I falling down.
By the flowing of joy and pain in my mind, I know where it comes and goes, but I don’t know where the feeling of peace in or out.

Secrets in silence of mine, memories in still of time, are those any different?
All leaves fall, and all days alone. Sometimes we struggle; sometimes we retry to make us alive in this world with no regulation. One thing is certifiable that all is one, and one is all, we can’t depart it from the fact. All we human beings dissolved in it.

‘Do you love me? Are we family or are we lovers?’
that’s I always lovely to ask you.
‘Caus I really don’t know what the truly answer is.

Maybe I’m just really such a damn fool.

《Human》

The Killers - Human


Are we human…or are we dancer?



冬天冷得太快太急，還來不及準備大衣的口袋讓手窩著，卻可以賴在你的臂彎。

我想我只是貪心，所以在夢裡總是擔心，這一切的幸福像天邊的一朵雲，不著邊際卻又如此真切而實際。


許多時候，心情慢了半拍的節奏，在奔馳的生活步調裡總讓人接應不暇，平凡的日子裡，仍像臨時演員即將登場般的遊走鋼絲，縱使如此，上戲的時候還是教人萬分期待。


我想，這就是你給我的幸福，
謝謝你。


我有信心挹注充足的能量，縱使還沒準備好招式，也要向未來招手，
來吧，我準備接招。

《Fly》

Lily Chou-Chou -- "Wings That Can't Fly" MV





落葉，成為秋天的隱喻。雨未停歇，像妳難以訴說的苦衷。
忽略不去想，也停了筆，關了電視，也熄了菸，以為腦內噪音已被消滅。

直到上演一齣黑色幽默，妳這才發笑。

木星運轉的頻率，在耳內細細低吟，妳與現實脫了節，與這些吱吱喳喳的情緒慢了半拍，這才驚覺一切低調的密語慢慢發了芽，從心上露出了頭，綻放起身飛翔、飛翔……...抽離了意識中心……脫離了沉重的軀殼…….對著自己喃喃，原來，這是自己的聲音！

I wanna go home……


迴盪在返家奔馳的道路上，妳一直往前、一直往前，直到這些聲音都退到了身後，
妳才願意停止。

只是，忽略了一切的妳，也忽略了，這一切，都只是殘響
妳只是短暫地延長了，屬於自己的沉默。


黑色的翅膀，在藍色的天空羽化作眼淚，飛翔……

《Missing》

Are you missing? ......or, are you missing me?


小咪嚷著要疼，夜裡沉睡時又伏在懷裡，時間與菸散去的速率相近。

第二天的夜晚，想念在距離三百公里之外的你，正疲累地闔上眼入睡，也許沿途你掠過了清晨的農村，與烈陽下的車影並行，沒入一望無際的公路…. 這一路以來，你一心一意地前進，為了尋找著什麼……?

而我一直以來，在你心裡尋找著那片國境之南，屬於幸福的邊境，每每過境時我總自問：妳來自哪裡? 將要去往何處? On the way to a safe place, did you meet me there?

我能否為你消彌那遍野的傷痕，不再只是靜靜旁觀著自己的無奈? I don’t wanna be an outsider in your heart. If I just lay here, would you lay with me and just forget the world?

Show me your garden, burst into life…
在那片生命的花園裡，夜裡將有雨露滋潤乾涸的日子，白晝將有暖陽映照過去的陰影；紅土埋葬了秋葉，春雨豐沛了花朵….It’s a circle of life.

我們繞了一圈又一圈的圓舞曲，換了一個又一個舞伴終於在這裡相遇，
背向過去，繞了一大圈你一直努力朝未來奔跑，
而我在這個相遇的原點，只等著你回來。

That’s all I do as I can.

《Final Straw》

Snow Patrol - Run


《Final Straw》

Light Up, Light Up
As If You Have A Choice
Even If You Cannot Hear My Voice
I'll Be Right Beside You, Dear
Louder, Louder
And We'll Run For Our Lives
I Can Hardly Speak, I Understand
Why You Can't Raise Your Voice To Say

Slower, Slower
We Don’t Have Time For That
All I Want’s To Find An Easier Way
To Get Out Of Our Little Heads


午後艷陽有些諷刺，照亮暗黑內心過度曝光，
視線不知該停留何處，明明是熟悉的場景。

仰望著天，是晴空藍。你的話懸浮耳邊，被錯身而過的煙霧帶走，言語無法正確地吐露：「那麼我該怎麼做？」…..「下一步該怎麼走？」只好被擱置一旁，如老人無奈地搓揉疲憊的雙眼，我在夢裡一直跑一直跑，跑不出現實的邊界，只來到這個臨界點，遇見閉著雙眼若有所思的你。

洶湧的浪打在文字的堤岸邊，激起了無數的碎裂，是水？還是心？
一層一層地穿透，高過記憶屏障的圍牆，我以堅強的心化做隱形幻術，抵禦無數次無心的傷心來到了這裡，面臨一片浩瀚的海，聽著巨大的回聲，濃縮成內心的吶喊、吶喊：為什麼？為什麼？


因為我們都錯過，我們都悔過，來不及的一切蜷入彼岸燈塔，僅能遙望，永遠到不了，所以才緊握彼此的手不是嗎？當我們看著遠方的風景，未來吸納成一股強勁風勢把我們吸附，如伊卡魯斯般不顧一切地往烈陽處飛翔，只是不能飛回過去的我們還能去哪裡？最終融化的心還能照亮了誰？


I don’t wanna say sorry, I can’t do that anymore. I have enough strength to fight with this memory no more; I am lost in this war. All I can do is run, run……

RUN.

《I wish I was special》

Radiohead – Creep







這幾天進入工作地獄周，接下來才會是無間的世界，連夢裡都不放過。

和一個初次合作的配音員一起搭計程車返公司，他很風趣、有素養，正在攻讀法學博士從LA回來探親，我們聊了許多事，健談的他問了我好多事：「妳喜歡看哪一類電影?」「為什麼這麼喜歡音樂?」「為什麼喜歡黑色喜劇?」我甚至跟他滔滔不絕地說著自己的夢想、曾算過塔羅牌的一張令我不解的牌面…...對一個陌生人，我卻極欲想剝開自己洋蔥般的外皮，讓人看個究竟。

心不是空的，為何偶爾還是會寂寞?

我羨慕男友有明確的偏好興趣，熱衷一件事到快要忽略身邊的人，但難道我沒有嗎?工作後疲憊的我，除了整理房間、處理一些雜務、和貓一起玩以外，剩下的就是在電視機前當個植物人，等待時下廣告創意餵我ㄧ些粗糙乾糧。再剩下的，幾乎沒有力氣了，一本新書放到快變古董，連想掀開的心思都沾染了灰塵。

是否，我也該熱衷於一件事?這簡直像極了家庭主婦的無聊發問。

在男友心目中，我似乎就要變成一個乖乖牌，此外，他已經越來越沒有興趣深入探索，在我的世界之外，用一層保護膜密封著，一旦他就要碰觸時，就又回歸到自己的軌道上。

從愛情昇華到親情，是誰的靈魂在逐漸老去。

我的身體還沒老，心卻越來越老，老得跑不動、逃不了。妳必須勇於承擔人生責任、隨之而來的壓力與對未來的不確定，像個機械鐘，妳只要慢了一步，一切就永遠太遲。

I wish I was special

But I'm a creep,
I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doin' here?
I don't belong here

I don't belong here...



在我的洋蔥皮層內，可能什麼都沒有，它就像一場鬧劇，等著被人欣賞卻只是不怎麼高明的笑話又教人淚流滿面，但有什麼人可以認真看一看，它究竟發生了什麼事?

有時候，我好希望貓能安靜地在一旁陪著我就好，彷彿安靜就是一種瞭解。
不要撒嬌與安撫成了彼此的例行公式。

但，也許我就是貓。

《The Moment》

From the summer to the spring
From the mountain to the air
From Samaritan to sin
And its waiting on the air

Into the fire - Thirteen Senses



雨繼續沉默地下著，想起Su說過的：「萬事萬物，跟四季一樣總是在流轉、遞嬗。」
錶內的秒針繞一圈要花60格，音樂最貼近心跳節奏的tempo也是60。

那麼這個城市該以什麼速率，以文字書寫著持續演化的回憶？
答案是Thirteen Senses！

The description is about a journey, not a destination
……the meaning of our life!

All is gone, and all is over through the stream of the railway at the same time.
Now I am stand on the origin to meet you again.

重複的，多餘的，可以用backspace鍵重來。獨獨這一次，我不想再用仿擬的字句複製同樣的思緒，讓記憶滯留在未被記錄下來的日記，唯有隨四季流轉幻生幻滅、潮起潮落；春雨孕育著夏土…黎明沉澱著黑夜….冬雪照映著換日線，一切返璞歸真。

如雁行般飛向未來，稟賦唯一的使命，為了一弧優美的回歸線。
If that is my destiny, I would accept it and follow it, unless the changing willing of mine. I will go through the delighting railway likewise you’ve said.

On the moment, I have the faith to keep pursuing my happiness with my beloved. I would treasure it, thank for your giving it to me.

Wish you’ll always happy,
from the summer to the spring
from the mountain to the air……

《深海》

經常性的夢見海。

各式各樣的海的形式：宮崎駿式沙畫般的海，由高山峻嶺直衝奔騰入海的藍色巨浪，英國中古世紀船艦擱淺的海，不知名草原邊境的海，或是擁有淺灘海岸雨量豐沛的海……

它都有一個共通點，就是帶有一股強而有力的吸引力，讓我不自覺地想縱身一躍，被溫暖海水所擁抱。不論我坐著公車、走路行經、成了背包客，我都一心一意地想親近這片海。

藍藍的，溫暖的洋水，舞動著波瀾，可以去任何地方。

每當我夢見海，第二天心情都莫名出奇地好，彷彿這片嚮往的欲望的，像加勒比海般的海，仍在我眼前，靜靜地等待著我，回來。





KATHRYN WILLIAMS: no-one takes you home


圖片來源：

《Blue and Gray》

通常，天空由這兩種顏色混合，Blue and Gray….
只是層次上的不同。

意義在日子上堆砌著城堡，
它總在妳想緊緊握住的時候，像沙一般從指縫間消逝，
妳想用文字建立起的意義，它就單薄得更為厲害。

它只伴隨在妳開始迷惘的時候，好發於擁擠人生夾縫中間歇性的空白時光，
妳突然發現，妳的生活突然瘦了，變得什麼都不想吃，
想更別提著手下廚這件事，端詳著桌上琳瑯滿目的美味，低調得只是欣賞。

有時候妳也想用狂喜、暴怒、興奮或大哭來添加氣味，
但漸漸的妳只想慢慢等菜不那麼燙了、不那麼蒸騰到讓妳眼霧迷濛的時候，
再和身邊的人共進晚餐。

但這時候通常晚宴早已結束，不再人聲鼎沸。

脫離超現實或後現代的重口味，妳開始崇尚自然主義，處於動中恆靜的本質狀態，
那像是藏進無意義的防空洞，被安全感的防護罩大大的籠罩著。

原來，意義只是一種偏執狂的迷迭香，減輕寂寞感的嗎啡，
其實它並不代表著什麼。


圖片來源

《潮》

凌晨五點，浪潮從夢裡拍打著白晝，時間錯亂著實境與幻覺，
因為不確定所以臆測，你的微笑仍在酣睡裡表達。

現在的你，在夢著什麼？
是滂沱大雨中奔馳的機車上，耳邊我問你的那個問題？
你不肯回答，只用玩笑搪塞。
或是抱著我們的貓，輕輕撫著他像孩子般可愛的臉，
告訴他，天使說了些什麼？
謝謝天使讓他給了我們幸福。

你的雙臂像山巒擁抱著大地；你的眼神如潮水親吻著白沙，
清晨的露珠浸濕了詩人一頁一頁的絮語，
讓日記變成秘密，等待時間風乾後發現那些記憶的痕跡，
有親擁山與海的你，始終帶著迷人的笑容。

一切的樸實，在這些日子上撲了淡妝，是素顏的美麗女子，
只要一微笑便是上帝的傑作。
知道嗎？
因為你，我在毫無生氣的過去裡獲得重生，
那些在煎熬與痛苦裡溫存的感情化為泡沫；
因為你，愛是一件如此美好的事。

Love is so wonderful thing because of loving you.
Everything is pretty, because love is pretty.

Oh, what you do to me?
Oh, what you do to me?
A thousand miles that I walk through these memories in pain,
I met you thereafter and get salvation from God that I could love someone and sing it refrained.
Because of it’s your playing.
The memorial rain in June stills remind me, we’ve held the celebration festival of these cheerful days. Under the blue sky, white cloud around the mountain was flying; it was time to start our trip. Every time you smile for me, I know that is promise of happiness that you will give it and bring for me.


有一天我們老了，要像老伴一樣牽著彼此的手，
去看看清晨的藍天、吃著熱騰騰的早餐後，再散步回家，
好嗎？


Plain White T's - Hey There Delilah


圖片來源：

《Departure》

Rain still drop down to the sea with the secret silence.
It murmurs like lover, seems like to tell you
that the white dream is painting over the sea.

Though I’m leaving now, but I also come with the memorial smile of yours.
No wonder I don’t feel sad about this time departure.
As long as I walk down to the street while the sky shining blue like heaven,
I can smile for you. I have faith that destiny can’t defeat you by the tragedy.

We believe that time can heal our pain,
and also can make us become mature enough to fight with the destiny.
All we can learn if we want to learn.

That’s our chance. Let’s get it done.

Photograph comes from:

《Painting the Time》

經歷一些事的以後，內心仍無法平靜，懸而未決的念頭依舊搖擺，
努力想證明自己不軟弱，最終卻只展現了差勁而已。

能處於颱風眼多久？
畢竟風暴過境後仍有炫風侵襲，記憶的餘毒在挾帶不明情緒悄悄揮發，
侵掠混亂無秩的場景，到頭來時間並不能平息什麼，它只醞釀人們心中牽扯不清的遺憾、牽掛與哀愁。

我無法滿足每一個人，正如同，我無法滿足自己一樣。

於是，或多或少，我們的人生包含了自欺欺人的成分在內：
對於無法改變的惡劣現狀嗤之以鼻，逃避複雜難以釐清的問題追問，
模糊是非對錯與黑白的分野，甚至是以戲謔的態度與這個醜陋的世界孱弱地抗衡，不等比的競賽持續進行下一回合，然後我們把責任推卸給虛弱的體質與虛假的應對之上。

環環相扣，劇情高潮迭起、觀眾拍手叫好，因為總有丑角滿足了所有人的自卑心理，人人都有安慰獎。

只要遇到令人憤怒的事，人們紛紛選擇了沉默，因為沉默總比尖叫來得動聽；或者是選擇背地裡同聲附和，像早晨瘋狂的麻雀一樣，擾人清夢卻又似乎情非得已。

從前的我直言不晦未必英雄，現在選擇了沉默以對也絕非智慧，
走在低調的安全線上屢屢前行，出界了也不會有事這種尷尬狀態。


於是，或多或少，我們的人生都有自欺欺人的色彩塗鴨在內。





Photograph comes from:

《Hollow》

Did you ever know…what does the Sorrow mean?
Does it be the season that flowers drop out from the branches of the tree?
Or, could it be the color of cloudy sky?
Maybe it was happened to the rain falling down to the ground of this grey city’s surface. You would never know that when the sorrow will be.
Some one told me: “you should face your sorrow; it had been not leave you yet.”

You could hide and pretend it was gone,
but you couldn’t improve that it doesn’t exist.

I know that I am not your only one, but maybe I will be your last one.
this is SORROW and GRACE form the god at the same time.
Love is so selfish that sometimes we must be keeping it in quiet.
But how?

How it become so difficult to express our love?
We are human beings who have emotion. It doesn’t have any absolutely correct answers to response.
Today, I go back home by tired body and soul; I need to feel some warm feeling.
But I always screw up. I argue with my mom for something stupid,
than I close the door nosily and leave.
She drive her bike and wait for me in the bus station, however, I pretend that I didn’t see her and pass by her. A view of her back is so loneliness and hollow, I feel that I am so cruel but I cannot help but cry.
Why I don’t know how to feel….love?
Did it happen? Or, maybe it always comes after the sorrow feeling.
Everybody can’t predict which is coming first between love and sorrow.
Even though it probably that you are in sorrow and love at the same time.

You would never know.

Photo by

《緩慢》

時值三月木棉紛落，不再二十出頭的心境看雨，也不再失落四季更迭的幻變，
秋季的香氣仍悄悄遺落在有風的日子，我仍有意無意地在時間刻度的緩慢中移動。

週遭只是陌生的人影，如泡沫般隨時易逝，儘管一張張面孔帶有笑意或藏有秘密，橫越記憶中已屬過去的人，像翻閱一本筆記書，以老邁的靈魂僅僅只是瀏覽不願細讀，而究竟代表什麼意義或該以什麼姿態作結？卻還不是時候解答。

常常一個人的時候，駐足記憶的軌跡想念兩個人的身影，才明白自己嚮往的平靜。介於島本與有紀子的角色錯置，逡巡《鱷魚手記》或《舞．舞．舞》的故事脈絡，一切皆然，世界由億萬個想像分子遊移組合所構成，一切皆然。

於是我是每個你的想像，你是每個我的想像，可能是幸福也可能是現實，卻未必是每個真相，但我們仍都在這個旅程上，城市的天空偶有陰雲時有晴雨，不停地寫著下一段相遇與分開的情節，不停地夢著預言式的橋段，行進人生的迴廊轉彎處，不同的只是自己的敘述，也許只是上帝的玩偶，但我們仍都在這個旅程上。

但我們都在這個旅程上，默默牽著彼此的手，
走一趟回家的路。





圖片來源：

《Four Tet》

Change your heart is better than change your mind. You know the difference.
As time goes by, people walk through in the street; you’ve lost in this crowd,
With no name, and with no language, you saw a stranger alone like you.
Somehow, you asked him “where are you going?” “It doesn’t matter.” he said.
Than you pass by him, and lost the way. Lost the destination.

You might think that you just need to touch a button,
which seems like it’s foundation is to empower your life to access the future.
It doesn’t hard to pretend that any trouble can’t trouble you.
As like that, you have faith to do everything,

Every one breathe, every one shot, even every one flick, you know that is existence in this world which is full of colors, you may have nonsense of these whole meaning, but it indeed be right there by any kind of shape.

In over quarter of life, now here I am. Nothing changed, but a secret dream is rooted in my heart on that moment, four tet.

Four Tet-Hands


Photograph comes from